Soak it in
“Soak it all in.”
The words new moms probably hear the most, along with “enjoy every minute” and “it goes by so fast.”
Mamas are quick to say this when they know a baby is on the way or when talking to the mom of a newborn. It’s well meant, but doesn’t mean a lot. I remember thinking as a new mom, “of course I’m soaking it in! I’m practically marinating in it.” And let’s be honest—not every minute was enjoyable. I was gloriously grateful for every middle of the night feeding and some hilarious in hindsight poop explosions, but did I ENJOY every minute? Nope. And then I felt guilt for not enjoying every minute because time was going to go by too fast!
It’s a lot to put on brand new mamas when they were just born too, this new version of themselves.
Now that I’m a toddler mom seeing all of those sweet baby things fade day by day… I know why we want to tell newborn moms to soak it in. I love this version of Rory! He is hilarious, curious, sweet, and we have oodles of fun. He is also so busy running around that there just isn’t as much time to snuggle. I miss his little body pressed against mine and close, quiet hours where there was nothing else to do but hold him. He’s so capable that he doesn’t need me to feed him anymore. He splashes around in the tub trying to sneakily get water on me instead of falling asleep swaddled up in the warm water. He needs me less in every way. And that’s what moms of older kids are trying to say… I wish I had those early moments where nothing else mattered bottled up like a perfume I could breathe in while I watch my little boy jump out of my arms to chase the cats. I wish I could steep the feeling of his tiny head resting on my chest like the most intoxicating tea. I wish I could bathe in all of those quiet and holy moments of the beginning motherhood, wrap myself in them like a warm towel just out of the dryer, fill the air with them like the scent of my favorite candle. They’re trying to say they’ve been there, they miss it, and they think one day you will too.
It’s all perspective. Newborn moms can’t fathom when they won’t just be dripping in motherhood. Veteran moms grieve being needed so singularly as they must open their arms to watch their babies grow.
Whether you’re a hopeful or expecting mama, a newborn mama, a veteran mama… we’re all this together—the least enjoyable moments, the soak it in because I miss it already moments, and every in between moment. Wherever you’re at, I am right there with you.
