September 15th
God loves details. The tiny details He’s sown into our story have grown roots and become too entwined to put into words, kept promises I’ll treasure up and ponder in my heart for the rest of my days. But some beautiful moments are absolutely meant to be shared. One of ours is September 15th.
Last year on this day we saw our tiny miracle for the first time. The baker’s dozen of positive tests might have been more than enough to feel confident for some, but for us, this still felt impossible. We were anxious, excited, and apart… because of Covid, Dan was relegated to the waiting room while I went back for the ultrasound alone. Terrified, I opened my camera. Dan needed to be able to see this moment too. The doctor turned the monitor toward me and suddenly I was a mom. I sent my still waiting husband the video immediately. His emotional “thank you!” yelled from the waiting room was followed by a chorus of laughter as he told the staff we were having a baby.
We were having a baby!
Three years earlier I was contemplating different news. Infertility barged in and changed our lives forever. Attempting to process, I started writing. I had a blog, but I’d never posted anything like this. I left it in the draft folder, keeping it to myself. Then one morning, I had an undeniable moment with God telling me to push that publish button. Today. I was overwhelmed by the feeling that if I did not share it today, I never would. Sobbing, I told Dan what I needed to do. I asked his permission to tell our story, and he told me what he’s now repeated every time I’ve hesitated since - I trust you. I titled the piece “The Empty Bedroom.” I obeyed God’s call on my heart, and it’s been full to bursting ever since. My penchant for writing turned into a passion, I found community that lifted me up, I was able to serve other women with stories like mine, and my faith blossomed into something new.
That day was, you guessed it, September 15th. The growth that happened in the years between made me the mama I get to be today. God is in the details, and I will always look for Him there.
